Christmas Connie

The Crimson Conservative here, taking time outta celebratin’ the birth of Jesus to show you all this picture Sonny Jim got last night. Not only is it a gift to him from that Supro fella, it’s also a present to all of you mugs out there on the inter-web thing. Yeah, I figure a picture of me is just what you need to make your Christmas complete, so there ya go.

Merry Christmas, and if ya have a problem with me sayin’ that, cram a candy cane in your yapper, ‘cause I don’t wanna hear it!



That was lovely, Connie, thanks. Anyway, I was about to go to bed last night and thought I’d check to see if that furry freak who’s been spreading his verbal bodily waste all over my latest journal entry had left me another bit of his Jesus-hating “wisdom,” and look what I found! As if hasn’t done enough for me by making Connie look so great all those times in the past!

This picture got me thinking not about what Connie got for Christmas in her extra, extra large stocking, but about what I’m pretty sure she didn‘t get, and came up with the following list:

An award from the ACLU, Anti-Defamation League, or GLAAD.
A Starbuck’s gift card.
A coupon for half-off a pedicure at ’s metahuman day spa; without industrial-strength restraints she’d demolish the place, and hasn’t Shloggy tortured her enough for a while?
Anything from somebody named Muhammad, Hussein, or Abdul (unless it‘s ticking).
Same as above, only from the White House.
A restraining order against Boogeyman (she thinks his advances are kinda cute).
Membership to Fantastic Lin’s gym; Lin’s insurance company wisely will not allow Connie to even enter the building.
A card from Secretary of State Clinton thanking her for the thousands of terrorists she killed in 2010.
A drunken Christmas kiss from the Soviet Superwoman (only because Olga knows better than to do something that would result in an entire city blocks destruction one second after Connie realized what just happened).


Well, that covers the big ones. Like Connie said, Merry Christmas to you all, and here’s to 2011 being just as chaotic and exciting in Angel Falls as it was this year!


is the creator of this picture, and deserves an incredible amount of praise for his capturing Connie in all her smug, smirking, showing off glory. Thanks again, sir.

Olga is property of , Lin is property of , and Boogeyman belongs to , all of them residents of , and all of them used without permission.

The Crimson Conservative was copyrighted by me back in 2009, almost two years ago now.

Comments are encouraged, and I’d like to hear your opinions on whether Connie’s been naughty or nice this year…