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Epic Beach Adventure, Parts 1 through 3 by JamesE82 Epic Beach Adventure, Parts 1 through 3 by JamesE82
Epic Beach Adventure, Parts 1 through 3
by JamesE82


Part One.

A beach on Eden Island, Angel Falls, 1:07 PM

The Crimson Conservative got really drunk.

--To be continued--



Part Two.

A beach on Eden Island, Angel Falls, 1:08 PM

The Crimson Conservative mouthed-off.

--To be concluded--



Part Three.

A beach on Eden Island, Angel Falls, 1:09 PM

The Crimson Conservative drank some more.

--The End--


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I know that was a lot to throw at you in one posting, but hopefully, breaking this saga up into three parts made it more digestible. Personally, I feel the Crimson Conservative really grew as a character, and the flow of the overall story arc was rather impressive, if I do say so myself. :bow:

Oh, yeah, :iconpabuluz: did a picture to go with the above epic. I know its not much when compared to the literary powerhouse of a tale that accompanied it, but still, its not half-bad :shrug:

Okay, do I even need to tell you Im joking? =D Pabuluz did me the honor of deciding to create a few pictures of Connie a while ago, and had also received a commission from someone to do another picture. I was very enthusiastic about how he handled my buff super-babe, and decided it was high time to get him working on more art featuring my redheaded Amazon. I gave him the basic instructions of what to draw, but the idea to have Connie wear a white patch and hair band was all his idea; nice change of pace for this hot weather, dont you think? :clap:

:iconangel-fallsda: is where my girl can often be found, a land of many beaches and other places for caped cuties to frolic around while not stopping crime and having adventures.

:iconpabuluz: created this wonderful picture, and if you ask nicely (and hop on PayPal), he might just do the same for you as well.

The Crimson Conservative is my creation, 2009.

Comments welcome, even if its to point out that Connie is bad enough sober, and you dont want to even speculate as to what the giant right-winger rants about while so drunk that she has dizzy lines swirling around her head:drunk:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconj-wolfe15:
J-Wolfe15 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
Hehehe, nice.
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
I agree, Pabuluz did a fantastic job. :clap:
Reply
:iconj-wolfe15:
J-Wolfe15 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
*nods* Sure did.
Reply
:iconcooltime17:
cooltime17 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
heheheh
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012
:icongrin--plz:
Reply
:iconsoviet-superwoman:
Soviet-Superwoman Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
:iconironmanplz::iconsaysplz:Hey doll, who says we wouldn't get along! Drinking and mouthing off are two things I do really well!
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
:iconshehulkplz::iconsaysplz:Watch out, Connie! If he and his Illuminati friends don’t think they can control you, they’ll pack you into a rocket and blast you to another planet; just ask my cousin!
Reply
:iconsoviet-superwoman:
Soviet-Superwoman Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
:icondowneyjrplz::iconsaysplz:Whoa, hold on a minute. That rocket was supposed to take him as a VIP to my my 2012 Stark Expo for cake and punch. Not my fault the big green lug was pounding on buttons and sent it shooting off into space!
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
:iconmrfantasticplz::iconsaysplz:I told you guys to let me launch the rocket!
:iconcharlesxavierplz::iconsaysplz:Hey, he somehow got Black Widow to shake her butt and distract me right before it was sent up!
:icondrstrangeplz::iconsaysplz:Don’t look at me, I was in another dimension when this mess happened…
Reply
:iconpaudraic:
Paudraic Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Homer, Tolstoy, and Hugo must now hold their manhoods cheap in the face of such an epic work.


Great drawing.
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
:iconshakespeareplz::iconsaysplz:Yea, what disfavor my work shall be espied with eyes awakened by the luminescence of these artful words! As an ember bedampened is to Helios, so am I to my better, this bard named James…

Looks like my brilliant writing’s got poor Willy down in the dumps! I’m sure he’ll snap out of it, and yes, :iconpabuluz:’s picture is nice indeed.
Reply
:iconpaudraic:
Paudraic Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well said.
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012
:iconshakespeareplz::iconsaysplz:True dat, yo.:iconfistbumpplz:
Reply
:iconr0thian:
R0thian Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconevilplz: ohohohohoho how I've wished to crush a Re-pube-lickin's views! - Shard
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
You mean to tell me I’ve been mispronouncing Republican all this time? :ohnoes:
Reply
:iconr0thian:
R0thian Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
possibly - Shard
Reply
:iconandrewr255:
andrewr255 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Still a little too long on the prose for me as my ADD kicked in and I only made it halfway thru part two but...

...

Sorry, it kicked in again. What were we talking about? Ohhh, shiny object...

But seriously a great comedic image here.
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
Really? Oh, you missed so much! :(

I agree about the image; :iconpabuluz:’s art suits Connie’s humorous/hulking style well.
Reply
:iconzespara:
Zespara Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Part Four

A beach on Eden Island, Angel Falls, 1:10 PM...

The Crimson Conservative receives a soothing back massage from me while listening to the EIB Network. :iconrushlimbaughplz:

--To be continued for a while-- :love:
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
I get the series started, then leave it to others to continue while I get the credit; now I know how Tom Clancy and James Patterson feel. =D

And you know what? “Part Four” is canonical as far as I’m concerned. :nod:
Reply
:iconzespara:
Zespara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
I'll keep the JD flowing! :iconjackdanielsplz:

:sing: Heaven, I'm in heaven...

Z
Reply
:iconbeowulfdoomhammer:
BeowulfDoomhammer Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Somehow I think she must have had more than just a few bottles of Jack Daniels to get like that... Five gallons or more, maybe. :o Or did she sneak in a bit of something more potent?
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
At nine-feet-tall and proportionally wider and deeper to go along with her height, I’ve calculated that she would be able to handle four times the amount of alcohol a very muscular, hard-drinking, six-foot woman of unusual fortitude could take. So yes, the bottle in her hand is not the first one of the day. :)
Reply
:iconbeowulfdoomhammer:
BeowulfDoomhammer Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I know Jack Daniels is her favorite, judging by how much of it I see her drink.. But what else does she like that could possibly get her this drunk? A barrel of Klingon bloodwine? A pan-galactic gargle-blaster, or three? I'm curious.

However much she's had of whatever combination of drink, that's going to be the worst hangover ever. But I imagine that legendary toughness of hers will allow her to recover faster than most of us!
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Connie doesn’t generally deviate from Jack Daniel’s. I do know General Bardak did his part to get her feeling good with some alien blood wine at Sovie and Walkiria’s wedding reception, and if she’s like me, she probably feels that if wine was good enough for Conan throughout his adventures, it’s good enough for us as well.

Yeah, due to her innate toughness, it takes a lot for the Crimson Conservative to feel it the next day, but she is loath to admit it.
Reply
:iconbeowulfdoomhammer:
BeowulfDoomhammer Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Interesting. I seem to remember Connie being there. I'll have to read it again. It's always good fun to see their interactions.

And well, as far as extraordinarily tough heroines and highly potent alien beverages coming together.. I'm sure there's an allegory for that sort of thing. Can't quite place it at the moment. Maybe the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object? :lol:
Reply
:iconmoxiee:
moxiee Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I dare someone to tell her Obama will win while she's drunk. I DARE THEM!
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Don’t encourage that! Are you trying to be an accomplice to manslaughter? :wow:
Reply
:iconmoxiee:
moxiee Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
D: Nevermind........
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Nah, she wouldn’t actually kill someone over that; using her super-strength to huck them a few hundred yards into the ocean is more like it. =D
Reply
:iconmoxiee:
moxiee Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Really? Okay then. There's no problem with that.
Reply
:iconalphazion:
alphazion Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Judging from the time of day it's much too early for Connie to be in the hard stuff already. :giggle:
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Too early for Jack? What, is this the first time you’ve ever heard of the Crimson Conservative before? :laughing:
Reply
:iconbelrhaza4017:
BelRhaza4017 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:rofl: too funny, man, he did Connie proud (looks like she came up short on the drinking game, though; wonder if Drayke was involved, hmmmm...)
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Connie: “I can out-Drayke drunk anytime! You tell drunk that I can Drayke him under the table!” :drunk:

Yeah, :iconpabuluz:’s bold style and firm handle on musculature makes him great at depicting the Crimson Conservative.
Reply
:iconbelrhaza4017:
BelRhaza4017 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah, and that's why you're smoking out of your left ear, Connie :rofl:
Reply
:iconmrtenma:
MrTenma Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
How is part 2 different from normal mode of operations? Other than she was probably speaking fluent Drunakese.
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
I know it was a nuanced and complicated story, but obviously, this time it was different because she was wearing a white eye patch instead of a red one!

I guess true literary works of art are not for everyone…;)
Reply
:iconleviadragon99:
leviadragon99 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Hah, interesting choice of swimwear too...
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Did you expect anything else from that woman? :lol:
Reply
:iconleviadragon99:
leviadragon99 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Heh, probably not...
Reply
:iconknight3000:
Knight3000 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Connie should get together with Emily I can imagine WHAT would happen at the beach!
She looks HOT with that micro-bikini!
Reply
:iconjamese82:
JamesE82 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012
Having our girls get together on a beach might be a good idea--less potential property damage that way. =D And not many guys are going to argue with you about Connie looking good in that bikini… at least not Republican guys, anyway.
Reply
:iconknight3000:
Knight3000 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No guy in their right MIND would argue!
Emily would be all for a beach time with Connie so would Coil!
Reply
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