Political Hate... and Puppies!

Okay, I’ve got a thing or two to say. Some of the points below I should have made a few weeks or months ago, but I jotted them down and forgot about ‘em. Also, I’m going to try and fool you into thinking that my positions are kinder and gentler than they actually are by posting them along with a picture of cute widdle puppy-wuppies. (Sorry for thinking you’re stupid, but remember that I work with the public in Southern California; ya can’t blame me for assuming that at least a few ‘tards are going to stumble across this.)



Perez Hilton told Ann Coulter to “bite” him. Are you with the creators of South Park in saying that AIDS is now funny? If so, I can comment on this story. If not, then I need to keep from saying why Ann should refrain from coming into contact with any of Perez’s bodily fluids.

Was the purpose of Martin Short’s appearance on The Tonight Show an effort to become the leading Christian-hating foreign midget in the world now that Kim Jong Il is dead?

Interesting side note: By calling Michelle Bachmann’s husband gay and then mocking him, Short committed a hate crime as defined by the laws of his homeland (Canada) on international television. It must be fun to be a liberal, and thus exist beyond the reach of not only the laws of political correctness, but real laws as well…

After watching his performance on MSNBC, I predict that the next person Newt Gingrich will cheat on his wife with will be Al Sharpton.

Instead of joking that Mitt Romney’s house needs to burn down, maybe Joy Behar should to look in a mirror and take burning away her own calories seriously.

Joe Klein schlepped himself in front of a microphone and said Republicans are living in an alternate reality where “Rush Limbaugh is God.” I‘m not buying it; the real problem liberals have with Republicans is they live in a reality where Jesus is God.

Forget running up record debt, letting foreign criminals flood the country, and handing secrets of our nuclear arsenal to the Russians: vote Barack out of office for saying Anne Hathaway was the best thing about The Dark Knight Rises.

To the angry Arab I had to deal with at the 7-11: Don’t take your aggression out on me because I speak English--kindly go home and beat one of your four underage wives like the Koran tells you to do.

Jimmy “I didn’t kill more Jews than Hitler, but dang it, I’m trying!” Carter and Bill Clinton are set to speak at the Democratic National Convention. I already have my nicknames for Jimmy “Never met a terrorist I didn‘t like” Carter, but before I give mine for Clinton, I need to decide if “Jizzsplat” is hyphenated or not.

Here, let me use it in a sentence: “Convicted felon Bill ‘Jizzsplat’ Clinton ordered people to lie under oath about all the times he blew semen into the face of a woman who worked for him.”

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Comments welcome, even if it’s to help me figure out which one of those furballs in the picture is my own Abby… I’m pretty sure it’s the one on the right…