Trekkie

“Hey Ben, it’s me, Connie from Heart Valley. I’m fine, you? Yeah, it’s been a while, but last time I called, your screener said I was callin’ you more than Amber from Perry dials up Sean Hannity, so I thought I’d give it a rest. No, I’ve never dyed my hair pink like she did! What kinda dame you take me for?

“Yeah, Heart Valley; it’s in California, but not your California… long story. I’m in Angel Falls because, well, that’s another long story. You might say I commute, but there’s no way I’m gonna fly with all the perversions that’s goin’ on at the airports nowadays! If some [BLEEP!] from the TSA tries to put her hand up my--what’s that? I can’t say that anymore? I did last time, when you were hasslin’ me for showing up at the Soviet Superwoman and Walkiria’s wedding, and the one time I was calling about that shemale Elena Kagan! Damn FCC…

“Speakin’ of broads who look horrible in suits, is the Gloria Allred in this dimension a grade-A [BLEEP!] too? Oops, I know I can’t say that one on the air. Anyway, I’ll tell ya, California went Brown this election, alright, in more ways than one, and I ain’t just talkin’ about Moonbeam gettin’ elected! Stinkin’ foreign criminals sneak into my country and influence the electoral process… oughta rename it the Brown State, brown like crap, ‘cause anyone who thinks Whitman got a fair shake this time is fulla just that! And don’t tell me I can’t say that on the air, ‘cause I hear it all the time! Wonder how many Neekee Diazes voted in Angel Falls a few weeks ago; maybe Mindy shoulda demanded a recount…

“Before I forget, those shirts you sell… sure, I bought one, but you might wanna think about making ‘em in sizes bigger than XXL… I mean, if mine was any tighter, it’d be inside my [BLEEP!]. What? Fine, if my shirt was any tighter, it’d be inside my breasts, yeesh! Don’t the government got anything better to do than fuss over rough language on the radio?

“Anyway, what I was really callin’ about is…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looks like Mr. Trek has his hands full, huh? Or rather, the poor guy manning the dump button does. James here, and that was one side of the latest conversation the Crimson Conservative had with the voice of the people, Ben Trek, during his radio show. My girl’s sure got a lot on her mind, and every now and then, Ben gets an earful. Don’t worry, though; he loves the controversy she generates.

’s page is where you can find more Trek; he’s the creator of that radio personality, and was kind enough to grant me permission to have Connie purchase one of Ben’s shirts. And Connie’s right, they should make them in a larger size for her… or should they?

is where Mr. Trek is located, and where Connie is often rushing to the phone to give Ben and his listeners a piece of her mind.

is the creator of this picture, and is not only a great artist (as you can see), but also extremely professional and very patient. I had a bit of a PayPal issue a while back, and he was completely understanding while I dealt with it, and always handles my very minor quibbles with professionalism and no complaint. Head to his page, marvel at his work before telling him how great it all is, and then commission some art for yourself, why don’t you?

The briefly mentioned Soviet Superwoman and Walkiria are property of and , respectively.

Amber from Perry is a real person, and was used without permission… we’ll see if she leaves a comment about that, or if she’s too busy reading Deliver Us from Evil for the thirty-ninth time. Unlike the other superheroines mentioned, however, she does not reside in Angel Falls.

The Crimson Conservative is (c) 2009 by me.

Comments welcome, even if it’s just to place your bets on when Connie’s bust is going to rip right through the incredibly strained fabric of that shirt…